Donald Trump and the Truth About Soup

The wise, lovable, thoughtful and humble Donald Trump, unknown to many commentators from the biased liberal pinko lefty America-hating political elite scumbags of the biased liberal pinko lefty America-hating political elite media, owes so much to soup. We can reveal the top 10 totally fictitious facts about Trump and his debt to potage.

1. He will, at some future date, publish his favourite Trump soup recipes, though the Trump time is currently not right to do so, quite understandably.
2. It is not known if Trump borscht features on his Trump list of favourite Trump soups, and it is of little Trump consequence if it does.
3. Many Trump experts, or more probably none at all, have wondered if his Trump trademark hairstyle is achieved with the aid of spray-on ultra-sticky Trump chicken soup, binding those central Trump whisps at the Trump molecular Trump level.
4. When tasked about why fewer and fewer Americans are enjoying Italian white bean soup he is thought by nobody at all to have explained it is down to not using Parmesan - he wants to make America grate again. Incidentally, given the effects of the soup, wouldn't it be fitting to call it Trump Soup? Or Trump Trump Trump Soup?
5. At Trump Tower you may be able to enjoy said Trump Trump Trump Soup in the Trump Restaurant using a Trump Spoon sitting at a Trump Table. Or not. 
6. There is no truth in the story that his latest Trump wife has borrowed whole sections of Elizabeth David's recipe for tomato soup and used them in her speeches supporting the great Trump man.
7. On an earlier post we noted Mr Trump is rumoured to have Trump promised to ban Potage de Crecy for being too French. His campaign managers have backtracked slightly on this, saying it may be renamed Freedom Carrot Soup. 
8. When asked about how he got his start as a brilliant Trump amateur Trump gourmet Trump chef, Trump said that it was only helped slightly by a Trump loan of 10,000 gallons of excellent Trump beef Trump stock from his Trump father. 
9. He has promised to end the nightmare of people being burned by hot soup on his first day as Trump President in the Trump White Trump House, though how this is to be Trump done is not yet clear.
10. In his Trump honour the celebrated Mexican Muslim chef Pancho ZB Ali has developed a soup that uses bitter gourd, duck bile, a lot of fat and angel hair, served topped with a foam that when pricked with a fork disappears magically. 

You've got to love him, haven't you?