A Deer Friend

We are not on, but occasionally do, the 5 - 2 regime, reducing our calorie intake on two days in a week to just 600.

I first tried this in 2014 I think, having watched a programme (by the ever excellent Michael Mosley) that recommended it more for its anti-cancer etc properties than for any help it gives in reducing weight, though that has been of value too. That time I gave it a go when the Dear Leader and SC were away diving in Egypt. Foolishly I did the two days together, and on one of them decided it was a good idea to use up my calorie allowance in one giant bowl of coleslaw, munched through the day. A box set of party political broadcasts would bring more pleasure.

Since that time I've learned how to make the 600 calories more enjoyable and more filling, or capable of fooling our systems into believing we are fullish. Last night I made SC and myself (the Dear Leader away in the Galapagos Islands ostensibly diving, though probably scouting out another secret submarine base for her evil empire) a dinner that included a small sirloin steak of venison. It had to be cooked far longer than we would beef (nearing 10 minutes), but with a seared surface and a bit of pinkness left in the middle, and having been given five minutes resting time, it was delicious - and as the packaging claims each 100g steak is just 106 calories it allowed us to have various steamed veg (asparagus in particular being low calorie and gustatorily rewarding), and a starter of samphire (again, loads of flavour for stuff all calories) with chili, garlic and brown shrimps and a squeeze of lemon, with a banana for pud, and still fall within the 300 calories we had left for the meal.

That is, I have to admit, the first time I have ever cooked venison and really enjoyed it. Stews various have been ok, but never memorably good or even any sort of a match for beef. The seared steak was meaty and slightly gamey and very tasty however, and having something to chew and savour for a few minutes made the glum fact of our reduced intake fade into the background.

What I would love to try as regards deer meat is their kidneys, of which I have read great things. As an offal lover (perhaps that's why the Dear Leader is more than one ocean away) lamb kidneys are near the top of my ultimate breakfast wish list, and venison kidney is supposed to be superior to them. Having failed to source them from butchers previously my new plan is to win the lottery, buy a Scottish shooting estate, get a rifle licence, learn to shoot, stalk and kill a stag, let a minion do the gralloch, and then while the kidneys are still warm pop them in a buttered pan and have them minutes later on toast. If only every ambition were so simple.

Donald Trump and the Truth About Soup

The wise, lovable, thoughtful and humble Donald Trump, unknown to many commentators from the biased liberal pinko lefty America-hating political elite scumbags of the biased liberal pinko lefty America-hating political elite media, owes so much to soup. We can reveal the top 10 totally fictitious facts about Trump and his debt to potage.

1. He will, at some future date, publish his favourite Trump soup recipes, though the Trump time is currently not right to do so, quite understandably.
2. It is not known if Trump borscht features on his Trump list of favourite Trump soups, and it is of little Trump consequence if it does.
3. Many Trump experts, or more probably none at all, have wondered if his Trump trademark hairstyle is achieved with the aid of spray-on ultra-sticky Trump chicken soup, binding those central Trump whisps at the Trump molecular Trump level.
4. When tasked about why fewer and fewer Americans are enjoying Italian white bean soup he is thought by nobody at all to have explained it is down to not using Parmesan - he wants to make America grate again. Incidentally, given the effects of the soup, wouldn't it be fitting to call it Trump Soup? Or Trump Trump Trump Soup?
5. At Trump Tower you may be able to enjoy said Trump Trump Trump Soup in the Trump Restaurant using a Trump Spoon sitting at a Trump Table. Or not. 
6. There is no truth in the story that his latest Trump wife has borrowed whole sections of Elizabeth David's recipe for tomato soup and used them in her speeches supporting the great Trump man.
7. On an earlier post we noted Mr Trump is rumoured to have Trump promised to ban Potage de Crecy for being too French. His campaign managers have backtracked slightly on this, saying it may be renamed Freedom Carrot Soup. 
8. When asked about how he got his start as a brilliant Trump amateur Trump gourmet Trump chef, Trump said that it was only helped slightly by a Trump loan of 10,000 gallons of excellent Trump beef Trump stock from his Trump father. 
9. He has promised to end the nightmare of people being burned by hot soup on his first day as Trump President in the Trump White Trump House, though how this is to be Trump done is not yet clear.
10. In his Trump honour the celebrated Mexican Muslim chef Pancho ZB Ali has developed a soup that uses bitter gourd, duck bile, a lot of fat and angel hair, served topped with a foam that when pricked with a fork disappears magically. 

You've got to love him, haven't you?

Old but New

I was lucky enough to be paid for many years to travel to places most Brits will never get to. There was work involved, but far more interestingly there was contact with different cultures and cuisines. Far more interestingly.

My favourite memories of those times are of Indonesia, where I worked with the wonderful Agus Sutono (sadly I lost contact when my job change coincided with his rapid departure from the country during one of its regular anti-Chinese spells). The food was a revelation, from street fare to very posh places. Common to both was satay, probably the flavour that I most associate with the country. Last weekend, in need of a quickly made starter, the freezer yielded jumbo prawns, and a quick scan of the fridge prompted the idea of trying to replicate a simple satay sauce to go with them. It proved easy and delicious.

Defrosted prawns were fried in sesame oil, with the juice and zest of a lime added along with two tablespoons of unsweetened smooth peanut butter and a dash or two of soy sauce. The cooking took at most three minutes, as was generally the case with roadside places where we'd stop for a lunchtime bite. The flavour took me straight back to Jakarta, Medan and Surabaya. It was a hit with the Dear Leader too, may her enemies perish in intriguing ways.

I never cease to be amazed at how easily memory is triggered by taste, but was my enjoyment of those prawns greater because of it, or the same as DL and SC experienced? There is no objective measure of enjoyment, but I tend to think that having a backstory on a dish or a flavour adds to the pleasure - unless that backstory is of the Dear Leader and the French oysters variety, that with hindsight can only be seen as an attempt by filthy foreign powers to nip her nascent dictatorship in the bud.