One Flame Cooking Chapter 3 and a Bit

With Sternest Critic absent at a party I will be able to indulge a culinary passion that he frowns upon - kidneys. Sunday breakfast sorted.

Joyce's famous line: 'grilled mutton kidneys with a fine tang of faintly scented urine', is frequently quoted, but is no advert for what is one of the best things you can eat, and I'd always go for lamb's kidneys fried.

They fit the austerity bill - especially from a butcher's shop where they can often be had at bargain prices - and the health bill too, low fat and full of vitamins. If you go to some supermarkets you'd think that sheep had stopped growing kidneys.

Kidneys are ideal one flame cooking candidates too: sliced open and white gristle removed, fried gently in butter, the red juices mixing with the fat to make a simple sauce to which a good dab of mustard is added, with a spoon of stock and/or cream if available. Something more substantial evolves if quartered mushrooms are fried with them, their grey juices adding to the reddy-brown ones from the offal.

Served on toast (another of Alan Bennett's somethings on toast) or bread to soak up the gravy this is a dish for those who enjoy forthright tastes. Tunes can be played with paprika, Tabasco, or chili sauce providing extra layers of taste to the jus (I hate that word but it's useful), though plain and simple is good. One of my abiding childhood food memories is of eating kidneys on toast on my knees while watching the kids' cartoon Jonny Quest, the moment fixed by the flavour and scent.

And kidneys are very special too as regards texture, something we tend to ignore or relegate to an afterthought in British cooking. The Japanese and Indonesians cook with texture as much in mind as flavour. The feel of teeth penetrating a meaty kidney is about as good as culinary texture gets, for me at least.

Big Ham for Little Money

Christmas can be a time for foodie bargains. On Saturday I was feeding eight, and as it was a rare family get-together I wanted to do something better than sarnies for lunch. Our local supermarket Booth's had some 3kg hams for £12.99, so figuring we would have plenty and then some for weekday breakfast I bought one. Cooking time was 2 hours 45 minutes, firstly simmered gently in water (starting the watch when the water reached simmering point) with stock veg and other flavourings like bay and pepper, then for the last 45 minutes with skin off, fat scored into diamonds and glazed with a simple Golden Syrup, mustard and Worcestershire sauce mix in an oven at 200C. Served after the important rest for 20 minutes (meat and cook) in thick slices with onion sauce, glazed carrots and potato and parsnip mash it was a hit. So much so that we had just two half slices left afterwards.

The onion sauce is made with finely chopped onions sweated for 30 minutes, after which plain flour is stirred in and stock from the ham added until it feels right. Cook gently for at least 20 minutes so no floury flavour remains. I sometimes whizz it with the hand-blender, but at we had mash it wanted some texture, so didn't zap it this time. A filling family feast for about £2 per head. Not my primary consideration for once, but compare that with buying in the much advertised at this time of year 'party food' - £3 for a few nibbly bits, £5 for some tarty dessert.