It's high time Dr Black got to kill the bastards who've been murdering him since 1949.
The title of this post is I hope clearly intended to touch on the recent report that the WHO published stating that processed meats are carcinogenic. Do I hear a 'what's new?' May I suggest that billions be saved in nutritional research with the publication of a report that states:
a) Variety in our diet is good for us;
b) Too much of any one foodstuff or food group is likely to be bad for us;
c) More veg and fruit than carbs, more carbs than protein;
d) Eating should enhance our feelings of wellbeing, so the occasional naughty treat is fine;
e) Constantly worrying about food is itself likely to be carcinogenic.
The press is doubtless to blame for the way the report has been portrayed. One starts to imagine that a Sunday morning bacon butty will lead at the very least to a near death experience.
Whatever happened to pleasure?
As a Green Party member (though after a recent phone call from one of their metropolitan fundraisers, possibly not for too much longer) I'd like to point out the environmental side of such foods: sausages make excellent use of bits that we'd otherwise prefer not to ingest; properly air-dried ham is a very eco-friendly way of preserving food (less energy intensive than freezing it, clearly); and bacon is bloody delicious. That latter point is environmental in my mind, as I'm a part of my environment and the way I feel after what is probably a fortnightly indulgence raises the happiness quotient around me by 13.72 per cent.
That percentage is to my mind probably as valid as the much quoted 18 per cent increase in risk of bowel cancer if you eat processed meat: how much processed meat? what sort? how often? what effect does the rest of ones diet have? (our veg- and fruit-rich one I'd hope would mitigate most/all the effects of two slices of Parma ham served with fresh figs as a starter recently), what effect does ones general health have on the calculation? what impact does the quality of the stuff have on nasty things it may do to ones body?
The Mediterranean diet is much lauded by nutritionists and their ilk. Salami, Mortadella, Coppa, Pancetta...
All that said, I'm thinking about applying for a £10 million grant to research the effect of wine gums on men in their mid-fifties. The Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine surely beckons.
Dear Martin,
ReplyDeleteAs you appear not to have received my previous post (or, if you have, you have chosen to ignore it) I thought Iwould just confirm that, in my extensive experience of dealing with clients who subsequently die, lifestyle choices have - rather irritatingly - not seemed to play a huge part. I have numerous drinking, meat eating and even smoking clients alive into their nineties. Others who have never drunk or smoked and have lived a frugal and semi vegetarian lifestyle who are brown bread in their fifties. Not to mention the fellow lawyer and marathon runner who had a massive heart attack in his sleep last week which he was lucky to survive and very lucky to survive almost unscathed. I suspect the unscathed bit is nowt to do with his marathon running and a lot to do with the fact his wife is a doctor. There is little justice in this world I fear so far as this sort of thing is concerned as Mike would attest. I'd keep eating the bacon.
Mary
No previous comment received.
DeleteSo these clients who die mysteriously after they have come to you were all clearly murdered with bacon (puffing at imaginary Meerschaum) by a one-legged flautist who had spent much of his life in Neasden working as an itinerant hedge fund analyst? For a mind like mine such things are child's play, bring me something more difficult to fathom next time please.
Well at least you're not suggesting they were murdered by me. We like to keep a busy probate department but there are limits
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